As I have changed directions in my life and moved fully into owning and running my own business, I find myself face to face with feelings of fear and failure. Daily. And this fear and sense of failure is motivating, deflating or overwhelming, depending on the moment I’m in.
And the moments that are deflating and overwhelming are the times that I question my worth. I feel doubt and dread. I feel that I don’t matter. And that can lead to some dark places. But I’ve learned that this is where I have to deliberately take time to take care of myself and practice courageous thinking about myself.
Self-worth as an act of courage is in the research of Brene Brown. She is a PhD researcher out of the University of Houston who has researched a concept she calls “Wholeheartedness.” Wholeheartedness is an idea about living your life every moment in an authentic and self-accepting way. Brown defines courage as speaking one’s mind by telling all one’s heart. Imagine setting boundaries with others who are finger pointing, screaming, and in-your-face personally attacking you. It takes great courage to accept who you are in the face of others not accepting you. Especially when someone attacks your ideas or directly devalues you. It takes great courage to deal with these attacks. Brown maintains that courage is “about making our own stories and practicing who we are.” To live a courageous life is to live an authentic life.
Here is a video of Brene Brown: Tedx talk
Now imagine setting boundaries with yourself when you are attacking yourself or listening to your own fears. This is a time for courage too. This is a time for practicing self-worth.
And feeling worthy doesn’t come from owning your own business or being the boss or always getting what you want. It comes from the courageous act of having faith in yourself. I was once told by a family member, who I am forever grateful for, that making the switch to a self-directed life is easier when you understand this: all you are doing is trading risks. And his point, besides demonstrating great wisdom and generosity, is that you have to have faith in yourself no matter what you do. I’ve thought alot about this lesson since I left my job to pursue my own career path.
Change is always going to happen. You can meet the change courageously with your own authentic self and grow or you can resist and change will happen anyway. Steve Jobs once said, “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.”
Here is a positive thought to practice today, “I accept myself.” By practising self-worth and self-acceptance each day, we grow into the people we want to be. As another business leader once said, “It is all in the details.”
You are worthy right now and in every moment.