As 2013 begins and we celebrate the New Year, I thought to draw some relationship inspiration from the oldest living married couples in the world.
Karam and Katari Chand are seeking the record in the Guinness Book of World Records. Karam is 107 and Katari is 100. Currently they are validating 87 years of marriage to Guiness.
Here are some things they say to others about the success of their relationship excerpted from the website: www.dailymail.co.uk
“Always be faithful: always be faithful to one another. When you get married you commit to devoting your life to that person and even when the times are tough, don’t believe that the grass is greener…because it isn’t.”
“Look after each other as best you can: if you want to grow old with your partner you have to make sure you always look after each other in every shape and form. Be tolerant of each other: everyone has bad habits or annoying traits.”
“Listen to each other: the most important thing in a relationship is to listen. People don’t listen anymore because they are too busy with work and TV. Listen to your loved ones’ problems and concerns every day, because then you can help them overcome them and be happier. Also, it brings you closer together because you are the first port of call for each other when there is an issue in your life. Follow social and religious values: always make sure you follow social or religious values.”
“Respect, care, cherish, love and value your partner – always treat them how you would want to be treated yourself.”
Karam also reports that he makes every effort to make Katari laugh. He reports that making Katari laugh is, “my way of being romantic.”
For more of this charming story, go to: http://bit.ly/UGGvel
Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher are the current Guinness Book of World Records holders for oldest living married couple. Herbert is 104 and Zelmyra is 101.
Here are some things they say about marriage excerpted from an interview with the website: www.yourblackworld.net
“There’s no secret to our marriage, we just did what was needed for each other & our family. Everyone who plants a seed & harvests the crop celebrates together. We are individuals, but accomplish more together.”
“Remember marriage is not a contest – never keep a score. Agree that it’s okay to disagree, & fight for what really matters. Learn to bend – not break!”
For more of this charming couple, go to: http://bit.ly/TFdjCl
There is much wisdom in a combined 412 years of life! Some of this wisdom seems simple enough. And yet neither article mentioned anything about marriage counseling or couples counseling!
But some couples use the right communication and behavioral skills to maintain immensely intimate and satisfying relationships. These two couples are what John Gottman would likely call “Master Couples.”
Master couples report the highest levels of marital or couple satisfaction over the longest period of time. John, with his wife Julie, have created a marital therapy that teaches couples the communication and behavioral skills that are based on research of master couples. Learning the master couple skills can help you achieve higher romantic satisfaction and long-term stability in your relationship.
With these skills and some time, perhaps you can challenge Karam, Katari, Herbert and Zelmyra to the world record for longest marriage!
May you grow your relationship stronger, deeper and more satisfying in 2013.