Does this happen to you?
The toilet seat is left up even if you’ve asked to have it closed. The clothes are left about the room even after you’ve asked to have them picked up. Your partner, family member or others keeps making the same bad joke. Even after you have gently asked this to stop it still happens…ARGGGHHH!!!!
Most of us handle our various resentments in 2 ways. We either act on our resentments automatically or we stuff it down inside ourselves. When we react automatically, we tend to broadcast to our partners (and others) our resentment of them through several negative behaviors: angry looks, sarcasm, critical or derisive comments, ridiculing or acting contemptuously towards them. We may broadcast our resentments in front of them and behind their backs.
These actions are very negative towards your partner.
When you stuff your resentments down, you disconnect from a feeling of upset about the situation, the other person or something you may need. Your partner may ask you what happened, but you say, “Nothing”. But later you may feel very resentful. Or you may act distant and cold towards your partner when you stuff down your frustrations. And this behavior creates resentment for you and your partner. Many times when you repeatedly stuff down your feelings, you find yourself going out of control during moments of high conflict, stress, intoxication or surprise. And that can lead to actions that are very negative towards your partner.
Deal with your frustrations regularly and in healthy ways. Resentments can kill the love and goodwill you have towards your partner. And resentments can kill the love and goodwill your partner has towards you.
Learn how to let go of your resentments.